It Is Okay If People Notice Your Ostomy

I think that it is in our nature as human beings to feel embarrassed about something. Some people get more embarrassed than others about different things, but I think we all worry about how others are seeing and perceiving us on a regular basis. I think one of the biggest problems in my life was worrying about what other people were thinking about me. It is very interesting, because this did not just apply to only one part of my life; rather, almost every public or noticeable aspect of my life was layered in insecurities about what other people were thinking. This became an even bigger problem when I had an ostomy back in 2009. If you are not familiar with what an ostomy is, it is basically where your body is not functioning in the ways that it should be. Consequently, the doctors or surgeons will have to go in and try to fix up all that’s wrong with you. The way that they usually do this is by creating an incision in your abdomen and basically rerouting your intestines so that it is coming out of your body through your stomach.

I know that this sounds super gross, but that is truly what they do when performing ostomies. The hole that is created in the abdomen is called a stoma, and that is where your waste (yes, poop and urine) will exit your body into a pouch or bag referred to as an ostomy pouch. Now, not a whole lot of people are familiar with this surgery and therefore are not sure what they are looking at if they notice an ostomy pouch on someone. I imagine it just looks like some weird medical pouch and the purpose behind it is not clear. My ostomy has created a lot more insecurity and anxiety in my life about the way I am being perceived by other people. The first time I noticed people look at me differently was a few weeks after surgery when I was going to pick up ostomy supplies at my local Walgreens. I would feel stares and glances from across the store and even watched children point at my body with curious gazes. It definitely took a toll on my self esteem and made it hard for me to want to go out very often.

Fortunately there are lots of different ways that you can hide your ostomy pouch. I spent a lot of time researching different ways to hide my ostomy pouch. There are different things you can do like wear certain wraps or belts, wear less form fitting clothing, or research ostomy pouches that are more stealthy in appearance. As I have gotten more used to wearing an ostomy pouch, I have become more comfortable with wearing one and having people notice. One thing I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older is that people really are not paying as much attention to you as you might think. Honestly, most people are just worried about themselves, going about their own days, and thinking about their own problems. 

If I could give any advice to my younger self, I would definitely tell myself that there is no need to be so insecure about what people think about me. Even if people are looking at my ostomy pouch or wondering what it is, it is really not a big deal nor is it my problem.